YES. EXACTLY.

I Think It Was The Red Hair Dye

You know that feeling of walking around naked in your house?
I've had that feeling permanently for a week now.
On top of everything that's been happening, I have finally found this feeling of liberation.
I've also grown this confidence in myself.
I feel like I can do anything!
I'm sure this feeling will wear off once I try to fly off my roof!
      (That one was for cheap laughs. I'm sorry)
But in all honesty I am at my happiest right now.
I'm getting back into my old routines,
I'm eating better,
I'm working out again,
My happier song playlists are seeing the light of day again,
and I've got nobody holding me back.
      Anyone who was I have accepted what they've done and erased their unimportance from my life.
Everything is starting to fall back in place.
I'm becoming me again.

I like me.
Me is good.
Me is my friend.
Me is very happy.


And because I am utterly OBSESSED with this woman, I will end this with one of her songs.

Something I Forgot to Publish Two Months Ago

Today was a "Let's-contradict-everything-in-my-life" kind of day.

I decided not to go to mandatory classes today.  I felt like shit anyways, so there.
But instead I trekked up to York Mills to go with my friend to her orthodontist appointment.
And it was there I had an epiphany.
I want to be an editorialist.
Screw making a prop list and sound cues for %10 (currently what I am trying to avoid doing at 4:16am),
I want to write about how things make me feel for %10

Also, I stopped eating. It was weird.
I had no appetite all day. I bought lunch around lunch time because it felt necessary.
Two bites in, full.
Me,
Victoria Ius,
eater of about absolutely anything that is put infront of me,
full.
Like I said,
weird.

You is Only a 3 Letter Word.

Your wit astounds me.
You are so clever,
right?
You know everything, so you must be clever.
You know everything about me.  Hell, you know more about me than I do,
obviously.
You know how to use sarcasm to the point where others laugh along.
I laughed at it too.
Always did, and always will.
You know how to run things, how to control things.
You know what is right and wrong, and you know where I'm better off.
Right?
You decided where things were going to go,
or should I say end,
so you must know.

You know,
for the longest time I thought you were always right.
But you had it all wrong.
Always did, and always will.

I Stayed In The Darkness with You

Life is Life

It's my last night in rez.

AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Now that's I've grown so attached to living here, which I never thought would happen, I don't know how I'm suposed to leave.
I'm going to miss so much,

Goodbye waking up 5 minutes before class starts.
Goodbye nice security guard at the front desk.
Goodbye ugly-naked guy neighbour.
Goodbye floor 14 family.
     (I'm going to miss this part the most)
Goodbye smelly roommate.
      (I'm going to miss this part the least)
Goodbye milton in the caf.
Goodbye mysterious irish girl across the hall.
Goodbye downtown toronto view.

Goodbye Toronto. I will see you in the fall.

Live Passionately Tonight

Last night I watched live performances of Lady Gaga until 5 in the morning.
One of my favourites was her HBO Born This Way a capella.

It was a really good night.

These Things Do Happen To Us

A guy in my program died on Friday.
He drowned.
It was a freak accident, it was no one's fault.
The scary part about it all is that it could of happened to anyone.
And never has the theatre school been such a chilling atmosphere to be in.
You give a group of theatre kids something like this and you can count on the mental breakdowns.
But like they always say, the show must go on, right?

I'm sorry you had to go.  You were one of the nicest guys in this place.
You will be missed.

RIP Sarmad Iskandar <3

Audience of One

I just want an excuse to dress as a hipster.

I don't want to be one, I just want to dress like one.
I like the style,
to a certain extent.
And I just want to embrace it on my body without actually embracing the inner body feeling.
(see what I did there?)

Is that so wrong?

*Side note: Funny story, this guy that was in my group for my pop literature class (also probably one of the biggest hipsters Ryerson has to offer) just recently got a tattoo of a dog on his leg.  His reasoning
behind it?
"Hey guys! Check out my new tattoo! It symbolizes my everlasting love for puppies and how my personality mirrors my love"

...So... that's not your dog?

What Is This Feeling?

I have arrived back in Guelph tonight,
and for the first time ever, my house doesn't feel like my home.
It feels like I'm just, visiting.
Because I am "just visiting".
I was unpacking all my stuff, thinking about how in a week I'm going to have to pack it all back up again to go back home.
(At school I call my rez "home", but I have never called it that when I'm in Guelph.)

You would think that this would make me sad, but why should it?
Guelph will always be my home,
but now so is Toronto.
And when I'm in Toronto I feel older,
more independent.
Am I finally growing up?
If so, I love the feeling.
"These times are a changin" as Bob Dylan would say,
And I'm ready for it this time around.

"Goodbye until tomorrow, goodbye until the rest of my life! And I have been waiting, I have been waiting for you"   ~ Catherine, The Last Five Years

And All That Jazz